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His eyes were red as i let him.
"You home alone?", he asked as i shut the door.
"my grandad will be home soon," i lied, "is evryfing ok."
then he looked at me and laughed, "you know where she is innit."

I looked at him and tried to act like i didnt know wat he was chattin about.
"Shawna," he said, "where the fuck is she."
now i was gettin scared. "i- i dunno," i stammered, tru say man was fuckin scarin me, he handt shaved and his hair looked kinda dirty.
he slapped me, "tell me where the fuck she is," and then he said, "oh im sorry," then he hugged me really tite and asked agen, "where is she,"
"i dont know."
he grabbed me by my hair and threw me to the ground, he was crazy- his face told me so.

"please calm down innit."
then he shook his head and started bawlin, "i need to fuckin see her."
he banged on da wall.
"shes gone," i said, "to america."
he looked at me and walked toward me, he kicked my face, "dont chat shit!",
my nose was bleeding now and i knew i had to defend myself, i kicked him the stomach and tried to run for the phone to call faisal but darren punched my face, i fell to da ground.

he shut the door and closed the curtains
"where the fuck is she," he said agen.
"america i told you- shes gone to live in quebec," i sobbed bare in shock.
"quebecs in canada you dumb fuck," he spat.
"why are you doin this," i cried, "what did i do- why are u hurtin me."

His face told me sumfin and i cldnt place what it was and den i realized dis was deeper dan da fing wiv shawna.
"so you role wiv faisal now," he said- his face looked darker, "mans been hearing that you're part of his likkle ting now- i know what faisal makes chicks do to join his clique."
den he laufed.
"shawna's gone- please jus leave," i said, "we'll forget dis ever happened."
"herd u and faisal been workin wiv feds," he continued, i was on the floor with a bleedin nose lookin up at him and den he sed, "your a dead ho if you keep rollin wiv dem man- some of my boys mite not like it." den he left.



I lay on the floor and just wept and bawled out bare, darren was fuckin mad and he knew shit, he didnt know bout jermaine cos if he did he would hve said but the shit he knew was too too much- i knew dat tripti had snitched.
i just knew it.
she was the only person who knew, faisal wernt gona say shit bt i had and now dat ho had exposed me. I ran to da kitchen and put ice on my nose as i fort of what to do and den it came to me.
my mouth was still hurtin from the ulcers as i dialled faisals number.
den i called tripti, we arrangd to meet at the park near my drum in half an hour.


I put on make up to hide my tears from earlier on and da nose bleed and made my way to the park, when i got dere some woman was sittin on da bench lookin at a picture of some black girl, from where i was sittin i could see da picture, sme any next ugly bitch who i recognised but cldnt remember from where.

as i sat down waitin for tripti i felt sick at da memories of da rape and how it made me feel and how i wuldnt even wish it on my worst enemy and den i fort of tripti and den da number 16 and den faisal and den she walked to me and as she did da lady left, so in the park it was only me and tripti.
"u alrite babe," she said kissin me on the cheek.
"Tripti- i have to tell you something- oh wait shit I left something for you at home."
"what is it," she said.
"i got you something from central the ova day- wait here ill go get it from home."
"shld i jus come wiv u."
"nah nah cos its bare messy- plus i need to take off the price tag too lol." i kissed her and then i left.

i walked round the corner until she couldnt see me and den i saw faisal and his boys walk over to her, punch her and drag her away.

dirty bitch.