Untukmu Para Pengunjung

The sky turned grey as Faisal walked up to me and kissed me.
"what did you do to her?", i asked.
He looked at me as we stood alone on the bridge and said, "What needed to be done."
"Is she-"
"Dont watch dat- its taken care of."
Den he pushed my head into his chest as i sobbed, i tried my best not to but i did and he heard me and said, "she was gonna say shit Nomi- uno how tings work."
Then i looked up at him and said, "Did she say anyfin about-"
"Dont watch dat," he whispered gently.

We went back to his drum and it was jus alone. it was raining- dere was lightnin and thunder as i sat in Faisal's front room alone as he made us some food- his fam decided to stay an extra month in morroco so he said i cld stay wiv him.
he brought in the KFC and placed it in front of me, he sat on the sofa, spread his legs and jus watched tv as i cried into the salty chips.
Tripti. My girl.
But i knew shit had to be done- if she said anyfin wed all go down and what about chelle- ssk would find her and get her again- i didnt know her but come to fink of it she was like my half sister, my grandad was seein her nan and da pain i knew her nan was goin tru was enuff wivout findin out ur granpicne hu u fort was dead is alive.

how was i even sure that it was tripti who had told darren about anyfin- maybe someone else knew- was watchin me- but it was 2 late 2 have dem forts now- faisal and his boys had done what dey had done and even if it wasnt tripti who had darren sumfin it didnt matter- she was gone.
i fort about her maj and her fam and how dey would feel and den faisal said, "i need you to help me do sumfin,".
I turned my head and looked at him, my eyes were red from da tears, "deres some guy who try snitch on man- i need to deal wiv him."

I stood up and sat next to him, "Faisal allow it- dis is gettin 2 much- please."
He looked at me and said, "listen- dont forget our deal- u do what we say innit- dont ask fuckin questions- ur gonna do it or else ur out."
I looked to da ground, "dont forget what happened to jermaine- and now tripti- it was u who set dem both up- its 2 late to grow a fucking concious now."
Then he kissed me, i wanted to push him away cos i hadnt told him bout my infection but it was too late his tongue was rollin around in my mouf.
"what's dis guys name?", i asked.
"his name's Mark."




As i walked to college the next day i realized what had happend, cos most of ssk were in pen and all da kinda pussy ones were out Faisal and his man could run shit easily and i was in da middle of it- once man started findin out i rolld with faisal and dem lot dey were gonna see me as ssk's enemy and i culdnt afford dat- but it was too late cs as i got into college i heard da whispers, "she roles with dem arab man innit."

when i took my seat my mind thort of tripti and all da fings we had shared togever, holidays, memories, 9 inch dildos and i got scared of faisal- how he found it so easy to duppy and den my head of year walked in.
"Can I have your attention please," Mrs. Omatayo said.
everyone was still talkin until she shouted, "BE QUIET."
den everyone shut up.
"Unfortuenately- I have some devastating news- Tripti Nairs family reported her missing yesterday afternoon and this morning a body that matched her description was found brutally beaten up- she was pronounced dead half an hour ago."

I burst into tears.
"Ms. Almaz- we have arranged for you to speak to our guidance counsillor as we know you were close- the police are also hear to speak to anybody who may know something that could help the police find out what went on."

the class was proper shocked and horrified, one asian girl who tripti used to celebrate divali with started bawlin. they took me out of the room and into a small office where two police men were sittin with one white lady.
"Hello Nomi- please take a seat."
I took a seat and couldnt stop bawlin.
"Nomi we know you and Tripti were close- we're sorry to hear about this all- her family havebeen informed and they are desperate to speak to you- but first we need to speak to you," the first officer said, "this is my colleague Kelly and the school guidance councillor Nelly- was Tripti involved in anything suspicious."

I looked to the ground and prayed God would forgive me for wat i was about to do, "She was havin an affair with a married man."

their faces all changed with shock, "do you know the name of the man she was having this affair with."

"Gavin Meyers," I said, "Gavin Meyers."


One of the police wrote the name down, "are you sure of this," they asked.
I nodded, "she said he had been gettin a bit violent in the last few weeks- i jus didnt know he could do dis," then i started bawlin.

"when you say violent how do you mean?".

"she told me that whenever she wanted to go out he would punch and slap her."

"did you ever meet Gavin?".

I shook my head.

"do you when the last time Tripti was with Gavin."

"I invited her to come to the park but she said she couldnt cos she was wiv him." Then i broke down in tears. "this is all 2 much," i sobbed, "i cant do dis rite now."

"we understand- but wed like you just to stay with us until your guardian gets here- we know he has been contacted- your grandad right?".

I nodded.

"Nomi- we have a medical report from you- you were gangraped less than a few weeks ago- our department is still on the case just to let you know- we know all this cant be easy- so weve spoken to your college in order to let you have time off and some counsilling- we usually arrange for your exams to be taken into consideration also."

"how do you mean."

"you've been through a lot and so we can ask for you to be given an automatic percentage of your coursework in case you cant do your exams because none of this is your fault."

den i looked at his face and knew dat it was my fault, it was all of my fault.