Untukmu Para Pengunjung

The entrepreneurial spirit in Zimbabwe is incredible. It's a great testimony to the people here that when the going gets tough, the tough go into business. It seems like everyone has a business - whether it's selling wool slippers or baking cakes or making peanut butter. And there are people everywhere on the streets selling things - firewood, newspapers, rat poison, sunglasses, etc. The other day I passed by a group of young girls with a little stand outside of their house. On the little stand were a few tomatoes and some individually wrapped pieces of bubble gum. "Madam - don't you need any tomatoes or bubble gum?" Unfortunately, I didn't have any money on me. It struck me because it was just like the kid-manned lemonade stands you see at home in the summer. Only they were selling tomatoes and bubble gum, and they weren't doing it to make a little extra ice cream money - they were doing it to help support their family.

I love dancing in church. The singing here is incredible, and I can't but help getting into it. I feel like David - dancing and praising with all his might. Yesterday a woman came into my office and said, "I saw you dancing on the weekend. You're really good! I didn't think that white people could dance, but you sure can!" Miracle number 1: My bad dancing is interpreted as talent in Zimbabwe. Hallelujah!

Yesterday we met with some people to plan a training session. One of the gentlemen had been to Canada. "We were in Penticton. Do you know it?" It's a small place in B.C. It's also where my brother Joel was born. Miracle number 2: Hooking up with someone in Zimbabwe who has been to Penticton. God is good.

Recently, one of the Salvation Army majors here was in a car accident. He was driving along, and a young boy dashed out in front of his vehicle. He was hit, and died as soon as he reached the hospital. My friend was telling me that as soon as he was hit, this little 8 year old started praying, and that the last words from his mouth were "Lord, if I am going to die, I just pray that you would take me into your hands." Please pray for this boy's family - who are obviously devastated - and also for the major - who is quite traumatized. I was really blessed by the faith of this boy. I am so thankful that faith gives many people a peace as they are passing through this life to the next.

Please also pray for Lt. Col. Mhasvi. He works with us, and is a kind, humble man. He has been in the hospital for a week; seriously ill. He is waiting for surgery, but both surgeons are out of the country until Tuesday night. (It's so ridiculous to me that there are only 2 surgeons and that they're both away, but anyway...) His surgery is scheduled for Wednesday, and his daughter's wedding is on Saturday. Please pray for him and the family.

We spent the weekend in Mazowe at the Territorial Bible Convention with fellow Canadian Commissioner Bond (she told us that in training college everyone just called her by her last name - "Bond" - don't you love that?) It was a good weekend. There were over 600 delegates. I got to sing in a trio and crack the high note in front of 600 people!! The singing and dancing was AWESOME! Praise & worship is such good exercise! The weekend also made me realize once again that we know so many good people here. There are so many women who just look out for me, and show me how things work. I am so grateful for our friends, and also just for so many people who show us kindness and grace every day. We ate lots of sadza.

I remembered my bucket this time, and that made bathing a lot easier! I shared one of the "special" bedrooms with a beautiful, gracious woman, and was grateful to have my own twin bed. By the time I got there, it was dark. I went to use the toilet, and there wasn't a light. So, I flushed and it overflowed. Yummy wet pjs to sleep in! Then in the morning, I stepped out of bed, and the whole floor was flooded. There was sewage everywhere! But you adapt and adjust...

On the way home, we dropped some ladies off at their corps, and there was this little kid who just kept staring at me. Eventually he got the courage to extend his hand. I shook it, and then he just kept staring at his own hand. Maybe he was worried that some of my colour had rubbed off on him!

Yesterday I got my hair cut. I had walked into the "Family Hair Salon" on Tuesday and asked if it was possible for me to get my hair cut there. The receptionist looked me up and down and then asked all of the girls if anyone was willing to take me (white hair can be a bit tricky). Thankfully Denizer said yes, and told me to come back yesterday. Now, I wasn't getting any fancy braiding or extensions or even a weave - I just wanted a simple cut, and yet I was the talk of the place. Denizer tried tying up my hair in elastic bands, but it kept falling out, so someone was assigned just to hold my hair in place while Denizer cut. And there were lots of curious onlookers ("look - it's just like a wig!" "are you sure you're not cutting too much?" "her hair is sticking to my hands!") She did a good job, and it was an adventure.

Last night Confidence came over with a gift for me - a storybook of "Little Tom Thumb." She explained, "I know you like to read." It was so sweet!

And congrats to Kirsten and the "Holy Session" who are graduating today. Magona (well done)!

Yesterday (August 22, 2006) was a great day in the video game industry. Oddly enough, the occasion didn't even involve a video game release. Rather, it was a DVD release of the greatest game-related movie of all time, The Wizard.



As a chubby near-adolescent hooked on video games, Hollywood had delivered in all regards - a healthy dose of video gaming, a plot centered around 13-year olds, and an actress around my age that was, uh-hum....becoming a woman. Much screen time was devoted to my favourite gaming franchises; Ninja Turtles, Ninja Gaiden, Double Dragon. You name it, it was there.


The plot involved little Jimmy the weirdo, who had an inexplicable fixation on California. His family and doctors would ask what's wrong, and he'd simply respond "California!" Hence, he's in the nut house. It just so happens that there's a video game tournament in California. Corey (Fred Savage), upon discovering that his kid brother is a wiz at games and a social delinquient, thinks it's a brilliant idea to take him there without his dad's permission! Along the way, the rogue brothers meet Haley, a tough chick with an attitude (now there's a fresh character!). On their way to California, they win cash, get robbed, and sleep in abandoned trucks.

Some social service agent is hired by the nut house to trackdown the rogue brothers, while their dad tries to screw him over along the way. Hilarity ensues. The adventure culminates in the weirdo winning it all in a big video game tournament. It's revelaed in the end that some giant dinosaur attraction was Jimmy's obsession. Turns out it was the location of the final photograph containing the entire family (including Jimmy's favourite, and now deceased, sister). His intention was to leave his lunchbox there as a monument for his sister, AWWWWWWWW!!!!

The entire film was practically a commercial for Nintendo, who were pushing two high-profile, on-the-horizon products. The first was Super Mario Bros 3, which I believe, had already released in Japan at the time. It was the third installment in the beloved Mario franchise, and the chance to see it in video form was reason alone to go see the movie. Despite never hearing of this game before, Jimmy somehow knew where all the shortcuts were..WHATEVER!!

The second product Nintendo was pushing? Well....how can anybody forget? The Power Glove was immortalized in this now classic scene. I love the Power Glove; it's so bad.



I love how not all of Lucas' movements translate into the video game. But hey, you can already see Nintendo laying down the foundation for its future technology, the Wii.

And how can anybody forget the music? The soundtrack included hits provided by none other than the Hoff himself, David Hasselhoff. I just remember some song about "Living by the Groove", and I was hooked on it. All the movie needed was a cameo appearance by KIT and it'd be perfect.

Tonight I may pick up the DVD and indulge in a classic.

Last week I found out that The Salvation Army here was receiving a guest from South Korea. It turned out to be Major Dong Jin Kim - an old family friend. I last saw Dong Jim when he came to Canada for 10 months to do part of his officer training. I hadn't seen him in 20 years, but he didn't seem to find it hard to pick me out of a crowd! It was great to catch up. We went horseback riding on Saturday (and got SO close to giraffes - it was awesome, but of course our camera batteries died at that exact moment!) He also took us out for Indian food (which was a nice treat because we'd never be able to afford it, and because it reminded us of our family back home). A Canadian and South Korean meet up in Zimbabwe for Indian food. It IS a small world after all.

There's a picture of us in our photo gallery. We've also just posted lots of new pictures - of John's trip to Chinhoyi, some of our friends from THQ, our trip to Zambia, John at music school, and our corps. So, have a look!

Oh, John - what a guy! I'm so in love with John! He always lets me have the first bath. We have to share bath water, but he always lets me have the hottest, cleanest water. Isn't that sweet? What a catch!

Tomorrow's the last day we can use the old "currency" (bearers' cheques). We got the new currency (with the 3 slashed zeros) a few weeks ago, and so we've had this mix of currency and prices, which has really confused people. And after tomorrow, the old stuff won't be worth anything. I worry for people who have been out of the country, or those in rural areas who may not have heard the news, or people who aren't near any banks, or people who are hopefully holding on to cash so that they might have some savings for their future. I know that one of our older neighbours still has coins from the currency before this last one - hoping that they'll make a comeback. She looked so sad when I told her it wasn't worth anything. What a fascinating place to learn about economics!

Remember that episode where Zack and Slater were fighting over the same girl? It was a landmark moment; for years 'Saved by the Bell' fans had long wondered, "Who would win in a fight - Zack or Slater? Preppy or the Macho Hunk?"

Unfortunately, Mr. Belding stepped in and broke up the fight. The question went unanswered, the fans became angry, and the series was soon cancelled after the fallout of Mr. Belding's ill-advised intervention.

But over the four full seasons of Saved by the Bell, I have amassed a large amount of data that could lead to a good guess of the result, and hopefully put the questions to rest. We will likely never see the two fight again, so this is the best we'll ever have.

Without further adieu, let's run down the tale of the tape.

Chicks dated in high school:

Zack Morris: At graduation, Zack confessed to having dated around 72 girls during his high school career. This includes each of his three closest friends at some point – what a skank. Notable dates include a biker chick, the fattest chick in school that won him at a dating auction, the head cheerleader, a girl in a wheelchair, and a wrestler that had to save him from a bully at the Max. To say that Zack has dated both ends of the spectrum and all points in between would be an understatement.
A tabloid photo has surfaced recently, hinting at the possibility that Zack may have had an affair with his best friend, Screech.


AC Slater: he’s dated a whale defender, a tree hugger, and a chick hooked on caffeine pills, all rolled into one girl! Very impressive. The problem is, Zack bumped her too. To further add to AC’s story, he’s also dated a long-lost love from Europe, and a bikini chick that faked her own drowning just to catch his attention. Unfortunately, both women split the episode after he hooked up with them, which leads me to believe that for all those guns he’s packing, he fires serious blanks.

Analysis: No question; Zack is king of the male skanks. Through his dating, he has shown that friendship is a line that he’ll walk and hump all over to get to a girl. With Slater’s younger sister, the object of Screech’s affection, and his best girl friend since childhood under his belt (figuratively, and literally, at one point in time), Zack blows Slater away (figuratively, not literally).

Edge:


Zack Morris

Hair

Zack Morris: his beach blonde hair was pivotal in bestowing Bayside hunk status to him. Aside from all the gel it took to hold it all in place, believe it or not, he’s not naturally blonde!!!

Picture from NYPD Blue.

AC Slater: naturally curly, jet black. And his hair was somewhat revolutionary for the 90’s; it represented one of the final vestiges of that beloved hair style of the 70’s, the mullet.

Analysis: just as it goes with breasts, natural defeats artificial in my book. And nothing, NOTHING, defeats a mullet.

Edge:

AC Slater

Accessories:

Zack Morris: light years ahead of the current generation, Zack carried around a cell phone brick back when most of us didn’t even have a land line in our own room. Cell phone craze of the late 21 century? “That is soooo ten years ago!” says Zack. Also had a Nerf basketball hung on his closet door, which is probably why he was captain of the school basketball team.

AC Slater: A tank top, he always wore a tank top. Slater knows the way to a woman’s heart is to take her to the gun show. Slater had a good physique, and in today’s ‘roid raging society, I have no choice but to assume that he carried a loaded syringe at all times.

Analysis: An extremely tough call. Both were approximately ten years ahead of current civilization; Zack with the cell phone and Slater with the roids. Unfortunatey, steroids are banned from professional sports (and are frowned upon in general), while girls as young as six years old own cellulars these days. However, this advantage is quickly squashed by the fact that the gynormous cell phone has likely given off loads of radiation into Zack’s brain, long before scientists became concerned of their harmful effects. Either he’s become super smart with augmented reflexes, or he’ll be dead from cancer in months. Unfortunately, we don’t know which.

Edge:


Draw


Weapons

Zack Morris: The Zack attack (not referring to his music band) is two-fold. His hipness wasn’t just for aesthetics, it was functional. That brick he called a cell phone could’ve easily cracked a skull in half. Secondly; I’m sorry, but you don’t date 72 girls within a four year span without catching some sort of disease. This is a dual-edged sword; though it means certain death for Zack sometime in the near future, if both he and Slater get cut open during their battle, guess what Slater? Genital warts will be the least of your worries.

AC Slater: AC’s biggest weapons at his disposal come from within. He’s got major guns, so the power advantage is obvious. Plus, as an amateur wrestler, he’ll likely be on his way to victory if he can get Zack on the floor. Needs to stay away from a striking match; though his hits will surely hit harder, Zack’s got the brick.

Analysis: From the outset, this one looks like a clear decision; which would you rather have in a fight – a brick or a gun? Unfortunately, Slater’s guns don’t give him any long-range advantage, he’ll have to get in close. Brick aside, if you get within a two–metre radius of Zack, congratulations - you’ve contracted airborne Herpes.

Edge:


Zack Morris

Current career

Zack Morris: Immediately following the end of the Saved by the Bell run, oddly enough, the actor portraying the star of the show found himself to be the only one collecting unemployment cheques (Lisa Turtle was on a soap opera, Screech became Belding’s assistant at the school, Slater went to Pacific Blue, Jesse did Showgirls and Kelly went to 90210). Eventually he landed a spot on ABC’s NYPD Blue, and stayed on the show until its finale.

AC Slater: Landed on Pacific Blue (otherwise known as Baywatch on speed bikes). I also remember him hosting some temporary game show on TV. Last night I was watching late night infomercials, and I think it may have been him vouching for a new face cream.

Analysis: he may have stumbled out of the gate, but Zack has done much better since graduating Bayside High. Yes, Slater has, technically, been more busy than this blonde opponent. But think of it this way; would you rather sit around a year or two before landing a big executive job, or work constantly at several fast food joints? Me too.

Edge:


Zack Morris

Zack Morris - 3 AC Slater - 1

Winner:


Zack Morris

Was there really any doubt? Zack was the face of Bayside High. When Slater first arrived on the scene, he definately gave Zack a run for his money, offering a legitimate challenge in every facet of Zack's being - playing hookey and going out with Kelly. But in the end, Zack was always triumphant. So it should be no surprise that in a straight up fight, Zack would be victorious.

I'm going to deviate from the norm and be serious for once. Mind you, I was being serious when discussing my disdain for Paris Hilton and the new GAP cool, but you know what I mean.

This post turned out to be MUCH longer than I had anticipated. If you're feeling lazy, skip the asterisked part.

Yesterday was a big day. Two of my friends from high school got married.

I have known Ron since grade 4. Back then, he was an honest, stand up guy; always respectful and considerate of others. Today, he still carries the same honourable traits. In fact, one of the groom's men, Jason, and I were talking with Ron's father-in-law and family friend about how he hasn't changed since grade school. We used to play the usual playground games, ball hockey, hand ball and red ass (when the teacher wasn't looking, obviously). After grade 5, I moved and didn't see much of him until high school.

My very first class in high school was when I met Edilyn. I didn't speak to her much initially; everybody was pretty disoriented trying to adjust to new environments and new faces. My first impression was that she was a quiet, shy, and studious girl. She sat near the front and didn't say much. But she was in several of my classes first year, and eventually I started speaking to her a bit. I was right on the quiet thing, but she also turned out be really cool and friendly. Eventually, we become friends that chatted about school and the like.

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Meanwhile, I was catching up with an old friend. Ron and I still got along well, it was as if the four years apart didn't do anything. I remember every morning, he'd be hanging out with Jason and Geoff near their lockers. To get to my locker before first class, I had to walk past them every morning. Being a HUGE Leafs fan at the time, they would make sure I heard it whenever the Leafs lost. I will never forget coming to school the day after the Leafs were officially eliminated from the playoffs by Vancouver - I took a huge detour to avoid their pestering. Somehow Ron saw me from a distance, pointed, and the three of them laughed their heads off as I ran in humiliation. Good times.

Oddly enough, I never saw the two of them together. When I did, it seemed out of pure coincidence because neither of them ever said anything to the other. This, even though they both came from the same elementary school - and in those first few frightening weeks in high school, you cling to what's familiar. Perhaps the quiet tension was already bubbling?? Maybe. Other than their school and country of origin, the only commonality between them that I could think of was that they were both in the school band.

Two years past, the seperate friendships continued. It was a typical lunch period, and I was talking with Ron. By this point, Ron, myself and three other friends (Bryan, Jason, and Rhoscoe), had formed the "No Luck Club" - a title celebrating our collective bad karma with dating. The five of us were sitting at lunch with our other friends. At one point, Ron made sure nobody was listening, and quietly said "Guys, I was in poli sci today..." "Uh huh...." "we were lining up to leave after class...." "Uh huh....." "Edilyn was near the door and <voice drops to near whisper> man she looked GOOD."

After the requisite teasing and punching, the suggestion was made to give it a shot. Success would've meant an exit from the No Luck Club, and subsequent praise from its remaining members. And above all else, he'd be with a smart, sweet girl, and what guy doesn't want that? The suggestion was met with an awkward "Ooohhh....I don't know......" The thought must've been put to the back of his mind, because that was the last sign of secret admiration for Edilyn that I would hear for well over a year. I would've loved to have asked Edilyn what she thought about Ron at that point, but her and I never spoke about things like that.

March 1997, mid semester, and March Break is rolling around. Excitement for all, but especially the students in music band, as they had planned a trip to Jamaica. The Saturday after March Break, a birthday party was held at my house. Bryan and I picked up Ron.
"Hey man, how was Jamaica?"
"<big wide smile> Good man!"
"Anything interesting happen?"
"Well, I sort of hooked up."
"WHAT??? WITH WHO???"
"Edilyn!"
"NICE!!!"

He spoke a bit of how they got together, and we could really tell he was genuinely excited about the whole thing.

Once school resumed, the two were inseperable. They made such a great couple, got along so well it, and I practically forgot that I had never seen the two speak to one another for three years prior.

Fifth year rolled around, and their relationship had become a fixture in all of our lives. It was in biology class this year where I really got to know Edilyn. She sat next to me, and during the boring lessons we would often talk about things. It was at this point I began to have doubts about my ability to meet someone special. As often as I repeated it, she always listened, offered advice, and by the end of each conversation, I always felt better and believed in myself a bit more. When luck finally struck and things began to happen between me and somebody else, Edilyn was the first person I told. She was excited and genuinely happy for me. Being a rookie at relationships, the two of them offered seperate advice and really helped me along the way.
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After high school, I saw them less as we moved on through university and careers, but their relationship remained strong. Everybody knew it was only a matter of time before it all came full circle. Despite the expectation, I was really excited when I first found out they were engaged. Even more excited when I found out that I was invited!

Words can't describe what I felt seeing my good friends from high school exchange wedding vows. I feel truly blessed to have been there, and actually couldn't sleep last night because I was just so happy for the two of them. Even today, I couldn't get the smile off of my face.

Congratulations, Ron and Edilyn. All the best to you both.

Today is a special day as Rochelle has given me permission to post on her blog. It's incredible how protective she is of this site. Each day I get down on my knees and plead, "Please, please, Rochelle, may I leave a note on your blog for my mom, dad, brother and my two friends?" But do you think she cares? Nope. So cruel. So inhumane. So domineering.

For those of you asking, "Who's this Johnny guy?", don't worry, Rochelle will be back soon. Besides, a bit of a break from the whole "world peace/love your neighbours/giraffes are people too" agenda never hurt anyone... I think.

**

Oh, no! Chikonohono

My recent trip to Chikonohono messed me up real good. I went to this small settlement on the outskirts of Chinhoyi with a group of young people from my corps. We went there to support the official opening of their corps and to participate in the weekend festivities. I don't think they see too many white people (murungus) in Chikonohono since everywhere I walked or drove, people stopped in their tracks to stare at me. At one point, a group of 30 kids ran up to me pointing and shouting, "Iwe, murungu!" They then proceeded to follow me around for the day. It's very strange being stared at constantly. But quite tiring over the course of many days. You always try to smile and be cheerful, but sometimes you just want to chill and hide from the peering eyes.

I was asked to give my testimony and surprised the congregation by speaking the first seven sentences in Shona. This isn't to say that my Shona has improved, but I'm certainly becoming more confident. And it helps that I don't mind making mistakes (ie looking foolish).

On the Sunday, most of our group became quite ill. Throughout the three services, they kept rushing out of the church to the toilets outside with diarrhea and to throw up. It was quite horrible for them as the "toilets" consisted of one hole in the ground for the men and one hole in the ground for the women. Out of our group of 27, only four of us didn't get sick. It turns out that Chikonohono has some serious issues with water contamination so whatever we ate or drank that weekend must have made the group ill.

Thankful to God for sparing me, I got into the bus for the journey home. After about 20 minutes on the road, the sickness hit me. And hit me hard. Every few minutes the bus had to stop so that I could rush into the bushes and suffer. (Never go anywhere in Zimbabwe without bringing toilet paper with you.) On my last "washroom" stop, I ran quite a distance from the bus and deep into the bushes. As I squatted in the tall grass, I heard some rustling nearby. "Oh, no," I thought, "please don't let that be a lion." What a horrible way to die. But thankfully, I made it back to the bus relatively unscathed. What a great bonding experience. It would have been sad not to share it with my friends.

**

Territorial School of Music and Gospel Arts

Last week I attended music and gospel arts camp. It was held at a boarding school (Mazowe High) that kept having power and water cuts. I can handle the power cuts, but I like to have water. And I'll never get used to washing from a bucket of water. Too Western, I guess.

The music and gospel arts camp was different than I expected. I was under the impression that I was helping out with the gospel arts stream and leading some creative writing and poetry workshops and teaching some media (photography, design, powerpoint, etc) electives. However, I ended up leading the A Band. I've learned to just go with the flow here in Zimbabwe. While I try to plan ahead, I'm always prepared for things to be completely different than expected. And that's usually the way it works out.

I also had to play a solo at the Wednesday concert. For someone who hasn't played in years, it was a bit too much, too soon. But people seemed to enjoy it. The vocal director even recorded me on his cell phone. I also led brass workshops in the morning before rehearsals. I'm glad I took the conducting elective many years ago at National Music Camp or I would have had no clue. My baton was a mechanical pencil, but you make do with what you have. Our major selection was To God Be the Glory... I think. The kids seemed to have fun, and I had my picture taken with them after the final concert with their certificates.

While up at the camp, I went running through the countryside in the mornings. About two or three kilometres from the school is a farm prison where inmates live and work shortly before being released. It looked more like a concentration camp. It had wire fencing surrounding corrugated iron shacks where the prisoners sleep. The corrugated iron walls and roofs mean that the shacks are freezing in winter and like ovens in the summer. The men were dressed in dirty, ripped clothing. It was quite humbling to pass by there each morning, but a good opportunity to pray more intentionally for prisoners in Zimbabwe.

**

Angels in the Streets  

Last night I led a prayer meeting at Warren Park Corps, which is on the outskirts of Harare. I only found out I was leading the meeting earlier in the afternoon when I received a message informing me that I would be picked up at the gate of my compound at 5:30 pm. Go with the flow... At 6:10 I gave up waiting at my gate and went home. After I had changed out of my work clothes a man arrived to pick me up. So I quickly changed back into my clothes and we raced there. It took us 20 minutes to make the 45 minute journey (it certainly helped me get into the spirit of prayer) and then arrived to find that the congregation had been waiting from 6 pm for me to arrive. At any rate, it was great to send them out into their community to pray through the streets of their neighbourhood. I went out walking with the corps officer to see how they were doing, and it really blessed me to see the congregation praying in groups in front of homes, singing prayer choruses on dark street corners and praying for people on the street. The corps officer wants to continue the prayer walks once a week. And he's arranging a 24/7 prayer week next month.

On the ride home (a bit slower) the corps officers came with us so that they could visit an ill member of their congregation in a private hospital near my neigbourhood. They invited me to accompany them and we were given two minutes to pray for the woman at her bedside (it was well past visiting hours). She looked very weak and was struggling to breathe. She couldn't speak and could barely move her hand but she could see us. The corps officer took her hand as we prayed over her. This morning the corps officer visited me to let me know that the woman died a few hours after we left.

**

Almost Famous

A few weeks ago I was interviewed over the phone by Doug Field for the Canadian Salvation Army's podcast. I haven't heard it yet, but I'm told that it has been posted on their website (www.salvationarmy.ca). I hate talking on phones (let alone for a taped interview), but I think it went reasonably okay. I think I even managed to avoid discussing politics. So, mom, check it out.

**

Farmer John

For those interested, in the past week we have enjoyed some luscious strawberries from our garden. I know you're all jealous. So I won't mention our lettuce, eggplant, tomatoes, carrots, onions, green peppers, basil, etc, etc. However, you probably don't have calloused hands or aching legs. It's so incredible to eat food that you've grown in your own backyard.

I gave the devotional at THQ Home League today ("Take a Break.") I never thought I'd join home league (a Salvation Army group for mostly "older" ladies), but now I'm part of 2. I joined the one at my church by accident. A few weeks ago when church ended they made announcements (in Shona), and then a bunch of people left, but the 2 ladies seated next to me stayed. So I thought I'd better stay. A few minutes in I asked someone what was going on. "This is home league - and we're so happy you've joined us." They were disappointed that I wasn't up for joining the sewing contest. I just didn't think my contribution would bring our group much glory!

We celebrated Heroes' Day and Defense Forces Day on Monday and Tuesday. I think there might have been a typo in the state newspaper,"The Herald." The ad for Heroes' Day said, "Let's all remember that we are what we are because of the sacrifice and selfishness of these sons and daughters of Zimbabwe." Oh, Zimbabwe!

Remember back in your undergrad days, you'd be bombarded with advertisements offering to assist you with your poor essay writing skills. For a moderate fee, you could go from grade 1 ESL student to a modern day Jules Vern overnight.

Here's one example of such advertisement.



My first thought after I took this one in: if your head is that big in proportion to your body, writing a good essay should be the least of your worries.

How this guy made it to the college level without getting his head beaten in by the other kids is a mystery. It's so big that if somebody tried to punch him in the leg, he'd still end up getting a noggie. How he even got the shirt over his head is beyond me.

The bottom line is this: prioritize! If you have a freak-show abnormality, deal with that before your writing skills. Don't get a-head of yourself.

I arrived home from South Africa last night. I spent a really amazing week with youth leaders from around Africa. I was so blessed to be with this group. Most of them are working with orphans and vulnerable children in their countries. They were coming together to write theses about their experiences, and I got to be a mentor. That part was cool in itself, because I felt like I was actually contributing, and was so touched to see how proud the students became of their work. It was awesome. I was exposed to new ideas (such as community counselling), and my heart was just really blessed to be surrounded by a great group of people committed to hope for their continent. Of course, it didn't do much to help my travel bug. There are just so many places in Africa I want to visit! Oh, and I saw the General. He accepted my salute.

A nice surprise when we got home was our 112% raise. Now that's got to tell you something about the quality of our work performance. Honestly - do you know of anyone else who has ever received this type of increase? It almost makes up for not being millionaires any longer. We're slowly getting used to the new currency.

John spent the week at National Music Camp. He thought he was going to support "technically" and maybe teach some poetry/creative arts electives. When he got there, he was appointed 'A' band leader, and had to lead the band workshops. Dad McAlister - feel proud of your son - he's totally carrying The Salvation Army brass banding torch!! Hopefully we'll get some pictures up soon. Speaking of pictures, all of the students wanted to get their photos taken with John. He's such a superstar! He asked me to bring a Big Mac home from S.Africa, but I just wasn't sure how well it would travel...

I read an interesting article in the paper yesterday. It was about a new bar in Nanjing, eastern China. The Rising Sun Anger Release Bar has hired 20 well-build men in their 20s and 30s who have agreed to be used as punching bags by customers. So, along with buying a drink, customers can beat up staff, smash glasses, shout and scream. The owner of the bar assured readers that staff are fully equipped with protective gear, and given regular physical training. How bizarre!

By this point you've likely heard the new single by Paris Hilton, "Stars are blind". Man, is that song awful. It hurts the ears - that is grounds for a lawsuit.

The song has something to do with a guy, and she wants to do things with him. Although the fated stars lack the foresight to see their (hopefully) collective futures, she is sure that they can be together if he shows her real love. In return, she'll flash the guy some boobs ("if you show me real love baby, I'll show you mi-i-ne!")

I don't think she realizes that anytime, anybody, anywhere in the world wants to see hers, all they need to do is turn on their computers and watch "One Night in Paris".

By the way, Ms. Hilton, an inanimate object cannot be blind since they have no eyes. Although they are also lacking in the ear department, they are surely deaf by now.

If this is the new face of cool, throw me in an oven because I want no part of it. According to this GAP banner, to be attractive I need an awkward mix of Fonzi and Vanilla Ice, icons from eras seperated by nearly four decades. Replace the denim spandex with knee-high trousers from the 1920's and I'd be painting the town.

Red.

With my own blood.

After getting beaten up.

I'll opt to remain the smokin' hot guy I already am.

for $50,000 (one million is too easy-for that kind of money, most people would do anything and anybody, simultaneously).

It's much more fun, you'll get more laughs with your friends, and you'll really get a feel for who would sell their dignity and pride for money. After a lengthy session with friends, I am now supposedly an empty shell devoid of a moral code.

Now, if you're thinking to yourself, "But I have a good paying job and don't need $50,000.". Well, good for you; you've ruined the game for yourself and are officially a loser. Congratulations.

Since we were little, there have been a few notions so well engrained in our psyche, which are as follows:
-winter is when snow comes
-Polka-roo is never seen by two people simultaneously
-Mr.Clean never grows hair or changes his trademark white shirt
-Head and Shoulders eliminates dandruff

Everyone knows that if you've got snow on your shoulders when it ain't winter, wash with H&S and you'll be snow free in no time. So explain to me this:


Introducing Head and Shoulders Intensive Solution, clinically tested and proven dandruff control. Uhh....isn't H&S regular supposed to achieve the same goal? And what's with the new tag line "Clinically tested and proven dandruff control." So what's with the regular stuff? Is it not tested? Were random chemicals added in the hopes that it would eliminate dandruff? Have we been lied to all of these years, that H&S regular actually doesn't eliminate dandruff??? Are we a victim of media hype???

I want answers damn it, my world is falling to pieces, slowly and gently descending into a personal hell like snow.

Today is National Women's Day in South Africa. We celebrated by participating in a march in Soweto. This march commemorated the 1956 women's march against pass laws. It felt like we were entering into history. Women need freedom! South Africa is supposedly the rape capital of the world. 2 interesting stats - a woman is raped in South Africa every 26 seconds. And a young girl born in South Africa has a better chance of being raped than learning how to read. But there is hope - keep South Africa in your prayers. And please - appreciate all the wonderful women in your life. I know that I do! Happy Women's Day!

Several times over the course of (what is hopefully) your illustrious career, you will be required to share data that you've generated during all of your hard work.

A picture is worth a thousand words, and this is no less true when reporting scientific work. Thousands of lines of text can be condensed into a small chart or graph.

Just remember this...

Happy Birthday to my dear Nana! I love and admire my Nana so much. She has always showed an interest in my life, and listened to me, and prayed for me, and that means a lot. She has taught me wisdom, kindness and faithfulness. I love you, Nana!

The other day I met a woman who reminded me a lot of my Nana. She was tall and dignified. I met her when John and I were visiting a senior citizens' home. The place was dreadfully sad. It is mostly filled with "foreigners" from other countries who married Zimbabweans, and then were rejected by the Zim families once their spouses passed away. Every person I met pointed at her/his stomach saying "nzara" (hungry). One lady only had 3 teeth, and couldn't talk, so I was told to watch her hands. My interpretation of her hand gestures (pointing at the administration building and then cutting her throat with her hand) led me to wonder about some of the rumours about how staff at the home take all of the donations for themselves and their families and let the residents starve. The whole situation was sad and just so unjust. It's so unjust that someone who is just like my grandmother would be in a situation where she is so marginalized and rejected that she is being left to starve. Our world is so bizarre. But God is good.

I'm in Johannesburg, South Africa. This is where I first arrived in Africa back in 1998. It's good to be back, and to catch up with some old friends. I've been reflecting on how much my life has changed since I was last here (in 2000). It seems hard to believe that that much time has passed. I feel like I was just here, and yet so much has happened to me and deepened me since then - including my whole marriage! By the way - we celebrated 4 years of incredible marriage last Thursday - I'm so in love with John! Being married to someone you're crazy about is a beautiful thing.

I've spent an amazing weekend with my friends Stacey & Buhle, and their 3 kids - Trinity (their adorable 6 month old - I think we've actually had some meaningful conversations in baby talk!), Bijou (their 17 year old foster daughter) and Nhlanhla (who is nine, and actually Buhle's brother, but they're trying to adopt him since their mother has passed away). Adoption is generally frowned upon in Zim, but seems much more accepted here. Fostering/adopting is a lifelong commitment, but man, it seems to make sense in terms of what really makes a difference. I admire Stacey & Buhle so much. I can't believe we're the same age and they have 3 kids (including a teenager!) Stacey & Buhle have really spoiled me since being here. We've had oreos and hot chocolate, and also went to McDonalds yesterday. I put all reservations about large multinational corporations aside and totally enjoyed my McNuggets. I also felt totally overwhelmed in the grocery store. There is just so much food and so much variety here - it seems hard to believe it's a neighbouring country to Zim. I almost fainted in the chocolate aisle. I also caught myself worrying that we were driving for too long, and that we were going to run out of petrol and be stuck. I realized, however, that no, in this country (like in most countries!) you can be fairly sure that if you go to a petrol station, they'll actually have petrol!

This morning we went to South Rand Community Church. I was so blessed. I love God, and worshipping Him is when I feel most "at home." I think worshipping God and loving people are the reasons I was put on this earth. South Rand reminded me a lot of our home church in Regent Park (614) - in its multiculturalism and worship and mix of people. I love our corps in Harare, but I must admit that it was nice to sing and hear a sermon in English. I got introduced as being from Zimbabwe, and after service a whole group of Zimbabweans came over and said how nice it was to see someone from home. That felt cool. I still can't really believe I'm here. God is good. Unfortunately, John didn't come to South Africa - he's back in Zim at the national music school.

We had an awesome time in Zambia. It was so, so good to spend time with Bram & Anita. They refreshed our spirits and it gave us so much joy to have a piece of home come to us (so anyone else that wants to come visit....) Having good friends to share life's journey with is just such a wonderful gift. We also got to eat "Canadian" food for a few days. John has a new addiction to nutella, and we also enjoyed delicassies such as Cheerios, coke, chocolate chip cookies and spaghetti (notice we're eating a well balanced diet!)

We drove to Zambia with our friend Paul and his dad. Friday we took a bus to Chinhoyi and then waited by the side of the road for a couple of hours while trying to hitch a ride to Karoi. There were tonnes of people waiting with us. Everytime someone would drive by as a single driver and not pick anyone up, I thought, "how selfish!" (and yet how many millions of times did I see this back home and think it was "normal"?) We finally did get a ride and squished in the back seat of a little car with another man. The car needed a good push every once and a while, and the driver drank beer as he drove, but I guess beggars can't be choosers. We arrived in Karoi safe and sound and stayed the night at Paul's dad's place. His dad is a DC, and what a beautiful, gracious man. I was totally blessed by him. Saturday we drove to Kariba (it's got a beautiful lake) and then across the border to Chikankata (which is about 2 hours outside of Lusaka).

Our first day at Chikankata we went to church, and then got a tour of the impressive compound. There's a hospital, a high school, and a whole host of community-based projects. We met Richard and Heidie, and that was neat, as we had only ever connected via blogworld (see "blog reads" at right). Richard gave us a tour of the hospital. It was cool to see the maternity ward because our friend Denise was born there. It was sad to visit the children's ward. I cannot comprehend how babies and children can be malnourished in this world of ours. It is so completely unjust. It was also a little eerie when one mother kept asking if I would take her daughter. "She's very nice. Don't you think she's cute?"

Actually, one guy that we met at Chikankata was there for a visit from the UK. He was born at Chikankata, and then adopted by his British parents who consequently moved back to the UK, and this was his first time back. He said it was quite surreal to be there. "I just kind of wonder, 'what if?' you know? If I hadn't been adopted, I guess I would be one of these guys on the street begging for food and work, rather than one of the ones they're begging from."

Our friends are in Zambia with the ZIM team, which is a group primarily comprised of Canadians who come to Zambia or Zimbabwe every year for 3 weeks to do construction and other activities. Tonnes of local workers are also hired. On the second day we joined them in their work. Anita and I were on a demolition team. We spent the day knocking down walls and moving cement pieces. It's not every day you get to demolish a building. And it's not every day that you have dirt and dust coming out of your nose for the next 24 hours. Yum! We were working on renovations for the nurses' quarters. A bunch of kids set up camp outside of our site, and watched us as if we were a TV programme. A couple of them even made makeshift face masks to imitate us (as we were trying to limit the amount of dust intake). It was very cute! Anita got some photos, so I'll try to post some in the future.

Yesterday we took a bus back home to Harare. It was a long journey, but an interesting one. Our bus almost hit some elephants who were crossing the road, and we saw lots of monkeys and baboons. We actually walked across the border from Zambia to Zimbabwe, and that was cool. Not so cool was getting some money seized from us at the border. And then getting stopped every couple of hours so everyone could get out of the bus and have our bags searched for money. We also came home to news that there have been economic reforms, and 3 zeros have been knocked off all of the prices. So, our days as millionaires are over. Oh well... :)

Today we drove past the Ministry of Construction building. Someone was explaining to us that they've been working on the building for 7 years now, and they've estimated that it will be another 5 years before the building is completed.

Part of my job is administering financial aptitude tests for people who are interested in taking finance courses. The tests are kept in a binder labelled (by my predecessor) "Uptitude Tests."

And yesterday I saw a guy wearing a T-shirt saying "Will Shag for Food." I'm sure it's somewhat funny in the UK, but once it gets sent to Zimbabwe as a hand-me-down, it seems more eerie. In this country some women do have sex, just to provide food for their children. And some men rape women as they are stealing their food.

Isn't it ironic? (I feel an Alanis Morrissette song coming on...)