Friday, July 13, 2007
Love hurts. I know a lot of people who choose to keep themselves distant from others, because when you’re close to people, it can be painful. They can choose to leave. They can say hurtful things. They can die. But as for me, I will never stop loving. Right now I am emotionally exhausted. I cried for about 6 hours yesterday (and we’re only just entering the marathon mourning process) – because I am missing Captain Pamacheche. But along with the pain of love – the pain of losing someone; the pain of watching someone you love suffer.... there is also great joy and great depth of spirit in love. I was created to love, and I will never stop loving no matter how much it hurts.
Amai Pamacheche was wailing yesterday. Weeping and wailing, and it was so painful to listen to that all the ladies who came to visit tried to sing louder and louder to cover up the sobbing. But it hurts. She and Captain were so in love – so close. For the past couple of months as he’s been sick, she was at his side every minute, talking with him, tending to his needs, praying through the night. And now he’s gone. I cannot imagine the loss. You share a bed with someone; you share a life with someone; you share joys and jokes and dreams and sorrows with your life partner, and then… he’s gone. I don’t know what I would do without John… True love. It hurts, but it is a beautiful sort of pain.
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