I love my name. I am grateful that my parents gave me a name that is uncommon (and French!), even if people often have a difficult time with it. My whole life I’ve had people call me Michelle or Rachel or Raquel. In Canada, not many people called me Mrs. McAlister, but, as a general rule, adults don’t use first names in Zimbabwe. It’s viewed as disrespect. As soon as you’re married, the wife takes the husband’s last name and is from then on referred to as Amai (or Mai) McAlister. It actually means Mother McAlister, and in the beginning people joked that I was now John’s mother, but that just seems a little odd to me. Many people also call me Amai Shumba (because Shumba – lion – is John’s totem). I’m a tsoko (monkey), but no one calls me that – I am who I am because I’m married to John. Everyone knows I’m crazy about John, but it still feels strange that my whole identity is caught up in being his wife. You know? If I have a baby, I will also be referred to as Amai _____ (baby’s first name). No matter how many other kids I have, I’ll always be known by the firstborn (see – being a firstborn has its advantages!)
Some people here call me “mwanangu” (my child) and others refer to me as “muroora” (daughter-in-law). I’ve got to be honest – I prefer mwanangu. When you’re a child, you’re just loved and accepted as part of the family. When you’re a daughter-in-law, you’ve got to do everything right, or else you’re sent home. Someone was telling me the other day that when a couple is first married, the mother-in-law will come each day and inspect the house – especially the washroom – to make sure that everything is impeccably clean. If not, the muroora is sent back to her family to get training. If that doesn’t work – divorce. I don’t think I would have lasted 3 days!
When we got married, I thought it would be really strange to think of myself with my new last name. I was surprised at how quickly I got used to it. But my favourite is still Rochelle. I was born Rochelle, and I will always be Rochelle. Rochelle is me. I am Rochelle.
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